RedEye - Mark Bazer

Smoggy vision of Summer Games

Thu, 7 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500

In a rousing display of global unity as well as solidarity with China, the opening ceremony of the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics will commence, sources tell me, with one athlete from every participating country opening a Chinese takeout container filled with smog from his or her homeland. Then, 2,008 doves, in a mass bird protest the likes of which has never been seen, will refuse to be released into the air.

A timeless romance carved into a sidewalk

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500

IRIS I LOVE YOU

You don't mess with the Bazer

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0500

My father waited 34 years to tell me the news.

Going green with paranoia

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 00:00:00 -0500

Writing once about the collective decision of today's younger women to go out in public wearing next to nothing, the great espn.com columnist Bill Simmons memorably referred to "every married guy over 30 kicking themselves that they sowed their oats in the Let's Wear Baggy Sweaters, Eat & Be Scared of AIDS Era."

The imperfect match: When Indy met Carrie

Thu, 29 May 2008 00:00:00 -0500

Nostalgia is a powerful thing. So are multimillion-dollar ad campaigns. But baby-sitters aren't cheap and household tastes don't always coincide, so it's too bad Hollywood didn't do the honorable thing and release ... "Indiana Jones and the City."

Financial advice you just can't trust

Thu, 15 May 2008 00:00:00 -0500

According to national polls, more and more Americans are citing personal finances as their No. 1 concern. High gas prices, the U.S. housing slump, fear of recession and other factors all have contributed to Americans' unease. With that in mind, it seemed like a good time for an installment of "Ask the Man Who Doesn't Understand the Economy."

My April Chicago weather diary

Thu, 1 May 2008 00:00:00 -0500

April 1

Spousal review 2008

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0500

My wife and I, as mentioned here before, each keep a notebook in which we record all the things the other does that are wrong. We plan to compare notebooks on our deathbeds to determine who was the better person.

Son, it's time to learn the rules of baseball

Thu, 3 Apr 2008 00:00:00 -0500

My son, almost 3, is beginning to exhibit a keen interest in sports, most often expressed by randomly shouting out "Basketball! Football! Baseball!" With the baseball season opening this week, I thought it was time to explain to the boy the intricacies of the game. For those of you also new to the wonderful game of baseball, perhaps this guide I drew up for him can be of use.

CNN projects that CNN is annoying you

Thu, 6 Mar 2008 00:00:00 -0600

CNN, early Tuesday evening ...